Wow, it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything on this blog….it’s time to start getting ready for Bonnaroo 2012! I’ve learned a lot over the past year, about: myself, pain, love, death, grief and ultimately on some level I learned about forgiveness.
If someone had told me a year ago, that there would be days when I was so heartbroken over missing my dad that I would actually cry, I would’ve laughed in their face. But, it’s true; a week from tomorrow will be the 6 month anniversary of his death, and I can already feel the bits of sadness that have been lingering around at the edge of my heart.
Damn it, I MISS you…it’s like somehow, your death has allowed me to start to forgive you for all of the pain that you caused me. Hell, I don’t remember having any of the dreams where you’re trying to kill me and I wake-up screaming, since the night that you died. If I’d known you didn’t have very much time, I would’ve come to see you. I would’ve told you, that there was always a part of me that continued to love you. I probably would’ve even told you that I forgave you, although it would’ve been a lie, just to comfort you.